Sunday, 25 September 2016

A Journey of Life by Abdullah Riaz

And he falls to the ground again
Lets out a cry of frustration and pain
As sharp rocks graze against his face.
Looks into a nearby puddle; formed by the falling rain
There was a new bloody gash among the many scars
A portrait of his adolescent wars.
Just then, a mocking thunder roars
And the venomous rain of insults continues to pour
He wants to hide, but there is no shelter
The words wear him away, make him think he does not matter
He tries to run, but he can only stagger
For there is a heavy weight, of responsibilities and expectations, on his shoulder.
The stinging rain continues to tear him apart
Like thorns being jammed into his heart
He can feel his self-worth slowly burn
As he continues to traverse the mountain he is on.
It is dark, he can barely see
The peak of the mountain clouded with uncertainty.
Suddenly, he comes to a stop as he realizes
The path he is following has now turned into a climb.
He stands there and lets the rage build inside
He wants to give up, he wants to cry
But is there anyone who will listen to him?
He looks around and all he can see are shadows and mists
People who call him a friend
People who promise to stay till the end
People who claim will give their life for him
But disappear when the difficulties would begin.
Maybe he is as worthless as the rains said
He wishes he could just lay there and wait for death
But it was the barrier of time that forces him to move
He can see it catching behind; a border of foreboding, shimmery fumes.
He begins to climb; it can't be any worse than this
Can it?
When he reaches a great height, he looks down far into the distance
And he just barely makes out the appearance
Of the path he trode before ever reaching this mountain of troubles
Of a time when there were barely any struggles
And for a brief moment, he forgets the pain, the rain, the injuries
Losing himself to the heavenly memories.

There is a soft hand intertwined with his own
As he walks comfortably on the smooth, straight road.
Everything around seems to resonate a rosy glow
As a soothing, cool wind blows
And a gentle rain falls; a shower of compliments
The sunlight falls upon him like a spotlight
And upon her as she looks at him with yearning, illuminating her smile
There are other figures beside them
People who mean the world to him
People who call him a friend
People who promise to stay till the end
People who claim would give their life to him
People he knew he could believe in. 
He's got a strong, athletic body
He stands upright, unfazed by the weight of responsibility.
There were times when the light would disappear
Moments of difficulties where life would seem unclear
But he wouldn't care, he had purpose and was happy with what he had
The world could throw everything at him, he would not snap!
At least that is what he believed
Even when the mountain of troubles had appeared and he couldn't see the peak
Even when things got rough and the people left
Even during the times when the journey had left him without breath
At least he had her beside him, his only hope.
But it when she had left he finally broke
She never said why, but he knew
It was because he was a disgrace, the raining insults were true
He looked around and realized the true terror of the storm
And he swore
That he would never believe he was something ever again
That he was someone who he would forever hate.
He wanted to cry like the rain that seethed his skin
But all he could do was keep the feelings within him.
He missed her even after she was gone
He tried his best to move on
But all he could do was silently mourn
Pretend to be okay, pretend he was not alone.

He wanted someone to save him
But at the same time, he didn't want it
Because why else would he be in this situation?
Other than the fact that he was a broken, social deformation?
In the distance, other people walk their paths besides his own
Some walk with ease, others without any hope
Some have straight paths, others with mountains bigger than his own
So why should his feelings matter?
When there are people whose lives are blacker?
People are bleeding, people are dying
Why is he even complaining?
So he just shuts up
And reacts only when it is too much.

The gentle breezes would blow sometimes
The sunlight would manage to barely escape the black sky
Voices would whisper, encourage him to keep going
Telling him there was success in this suffering
He would believe them, they were persistent
But he had waited enough, and grown distant
It was not worth it, so he would ignore them
Because he had realized then
Whatever that goes up, must come down...


He slowly heaves himself up as the climb ends
He doesn't look up, he's too scared
What if the mountain hadn't ended?
What if there was more?
Then he lets in a little of the destructive hope
But what if there wasn't?
He slowly raises his head...
There was another climb ahead
His heart drops...
It went right into the clouds...

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